Okay, it's been requested that I elaborate on my feelings about special music in church. Here goes:
Keep in mind, this is just my opinion. I do not have any scientific data to back this up.
Musicians are egotistical. Especially singers. I really believe that. As humble as we try to be, there's always an element of pride that lurks in wait until a performer is weak. I confess, this is a problem I have had all my life. Scratch that - this is a sin I have fostered all my life, off and on.
Special music isn't evil in-and-of itself. It's good to be able to use your gift to help the congregation prepare their hearts for the sermon.
However, in the back of your mind, there's almost always the lurking thought that it's about you and not about God. At least, that's been my experience. Sometimes this nasty thought simply crosses my mind and I dismiss it quickly and remember the times that God allowed me to lose my voice (with sickness) and that He can take it away for good any time He wants. I remind myself that it is only for His glory that I should be singing. Sometimes that works.
Other times, when I'm especially weak/vulnerable, I think about what people might think of my performance. Will they like it? What about the high note at the end? What will I say if someone compliments me afterward? This is when it starts going too far. If I have to remind myself that Mom told me to "smile and say 'thank you'" after a compliment - I've already let myself be destracted from my Audience of One.
So, this has been my personal struggle for many years. I highly doubt I am the only one who faces this. My fear, is that some people may not ever recognize this for the sin that I believe it is - that they feel they deserve the accolades of man when they sing at church, or do a good deed, or feed the hungry ...
Here is what we deserve:
"But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when His righteous judgment will be revealed." Romans 2:5
Thoughts On Awakening
7 years ago
3 comments:
That's a gutsy post. Thank you.
We loved hearing you sing at DC... for what it's worth. And the other day I was listening to Amy's CD and I heard you again and it warmed my heart. So special music isn't all bad. I can, however, see your point as well.
PS.. as for deer season, I'm sorry it's already upon you. May you fill your freezer quickly this year. Tell Lewis I passed 3 moose on the highway yesterday, 2 separate sightings.
Amen and amen! Good job articulating it and being honest. Thanks.
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