Nostalgic

I found my wedding album last night while I was cleaning out Lily's closet. It only has a few pictures in it, because I never really got a lot of wedding photos. My dad took the pictures for me, and now - 9 years later - I can't remember why I don't have more of them in that album.

Mostly, the pictures were from my wedding shower. And the sign-in sheets were there from the wedding. People sure can make stupid comments on those!

Anyway, it was shocking to see how young we all looked ... were. I saw my Matron of Honor, Sylvia there. She looked so pretty at my shower with a floral dress on and her hair up in a bun. Syl, you always could make "simple" look beautiful! My two bridesmaids were there: Daphne looked young and she's smiling in every picture, even as she's writing something down on the list of gifts. Rachael was there too. The only pic I have of her was obviously a surprise picture that she didn't expect - she had a shocked look on her face.

I miss Rachael. We had a bit of a falling out a few years back, before Lily was born. I sent her a letter or two - I'm not sure how many. Maybe it was only one. I don't know. I used to send the Christmas letter to her parents, in hopes that she would read it too. Maybe she would call me or write me.? But she hasn't.

It's really hard to go back, I guess. When you've hurt someone's feelings - it's quite possible that they will never forgive you. It's possible that they don't feel they can forgive you. Maybe. Maybe she doesn't want to forgive. I have to live with that. I just wish the silence wasn't so deafening sometimes.